WE CAN ONLY CHANGE OURSELVES, NOT ANYONE ELSE

 

AA and Al-Anon groups pray the Serenity Prayer below:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change

The Courage to Change the things I can

And the Wisdom to know the difference

In the kitchen of my childhood home, hanging on the wall behind the kitchen table, was a tray printed with those words. Although I read it often  and committed it to memory, I didn't really understand the significance or meaning of the words in my youth. Frankly, I had no idea what things I could change, most likely because I was being raised by a very angry narcissistic mother. I tip-toed around her trying to avoid her wrath and I became the "invisible" child, and codependent. I had no voice and lived in complete fear. Courage was not a word I could relate to.

I share here an anonymous version of the Serenity Prayer which really speaks to me. It's specifically written for Codependent people:

God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change

The Courage to Change the one I can

And the Wisdom to know it's ME  

Yes, the reality is that we can only change ourselves - not anyone else. This is why, if you are desperately unhappy in a narcissistic relationship, you need to take responsibility to do whatever it takes to make the changes necessary so that you can live a life free from abuse.  Choose peace and safety, over rage and fear.

Change is scary - which is why we need immense COURAGE to undertake to change our present behaviour and what we are accepting.  I trust that your journey toward healing will be filled with the conviction and boldness you need to become the person you were created to be. Choose YOU!

Ask God (your Higher Power) for courage every day, as well as for wisdom and guidance.  Don't fear life on your own.  Don't allow fear into your thoughts at all. You will survive.  You will thrive. And, on the other side of abuse is a wonderful world of joy, laughter, love, health, peace and happiness!

Be Courageous! Be Strong! ….. know that you can and will change for the better as you move away from toxic relationships.

CHOOSE LIFE!

Penny - founder of NASG

penny@C2C.co.za