WHY MY FAITH KEPT ME STUCK IN A TOXIC RELATIONSHIP
Penny - founder of NASG
Part 6:
Not long after this devastating disappointment, the pastor “prophesied” over my husband one Sunday at church. He called him by name and said, “God has a specific calling on your life. You have been given the skills and knowledge as to how to create immense wealth, and I heard God saying that He is going to use you mightily to enable those who are called to evangelism, to spread the good news of the gospel far and wide, made possible by the money you can make and donate to the church. You are incredibly gifted and the Lord wants you to be aware of your gift and specific purpose in the body of Christ!”. My husband was beaming having been singled out for his business acumen, and I…. I was like, “Seriously?!!”
This, just after our counselling sessions, and me saying that
the other problem besides my husband drinking was that he worked such long
hours that my children and I barely saw him. Armed with the knowledge that my
husband had a lucrative business and had been paid out a lot of money for a
business he’d just sold, the pastor (in my humble opinion, and may God forgive me
if I’m making a dreadfully incorrect assumption here) was manipulating him to
believe it was his purpose in life to make money. The pastor effectively sanctioned
the long hours he worked, which just perpetuated the dysfunctionality in our
family.
So, nothing changed. The abuse continued. Prioritising his career
and drinking with colleagues and friends continued, but the pastor and my
husband had become very friendly. I was told a couple of months later that he’d
decided to get baptized as “it was the right thing to do as a Christian”. Well,
to date he hadn’t ever done anything because “it was the right thing to do” so
I was fascinated! Nonetheless, he followed through with this and the pastor
performed a full immersion baptism service for my husband. I watched the
procedure with mixed feelings, hoping beyond hope that the Lord had softened
his heart and something miraculous had taken place in his life such that his
values would change and our relationship would be a happy one.
But sadly, my hopes were dashed as immediately after being baptized
he invited his friends over for drinks. They all went out together later that
evening and he arrived home at 2 am completely inebriated. Not the behaviour
you’d expect from a believer (really?) who had chosen to be baptized as a
public declaration of his belief in Jesus Christ and his decision to follow him.
Then again, many narcissists are pew warmers. It’s all part
of their agenda – to have others believe that they are Christians and thereby presume
that they have good morals, and are loving, kind, honest, and trustworthy. It was
hard to live with the hypocrisy of it all and I couldn’t understand the pastors'
willingness to baptize a man who had a drinking problem and was not living life
in such a way that the fruits of the Spirit were evident.
(to be continued…)
www.courage2change.co.za for support
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